In AA, they have this saying..."Act as if..." I was speaking with some people the other day and this statement was brought up. One woman was talking about the importance of this statement in her life in regards to her lesbian daughter. This particular woman has had a hard time accepting her daughter, and has gone through a great bit of struggle. When she realized that her relationship with her daughter was declining, she felt that something needed to be done. When she saw the pain her daughter was in, she knew that something needed to change. In a moment of advise, a friend of hers (who just happends to be gay) told her to "Act as if..."
He said, "Act as if you undertand and accept your daughter." The fact is, it's the wondering and the denial that hurts relationships. This mother may have loved her daughter, but the constant questioning did not enforce that idea. And really, many parents have a hard time at first, but come to understanding and acceptance with time. Once they see that their child can not change who they are, they come to see that no one is at fault in matters of sexuality. They come to find that their son or daughter has already accepted who they are (hopefully), and they are just waiting for their parents to catch up.
I've been blessed with understanding and accepting parents, who see my life and who I love as a gift from God. But the stories of hurt and pain are all too familiar for me. And really, there would be a lot less of that going around if people just acted as if they were ok.