Friday, June 06, 2008

Classic Conversations

Just the other day I had a brilliant conversation with a kindred spirit over a long lunch. As you may know, long conversations that really click are pretty much my favorite activity ever! I love sharing moments with people and exchanging ideas…not feeling like I have to hold my tongue and at the same time there are no feelings of judgment. I think that when people are comfortable with who they are and the process of life that they are engaging in, then even the heaviest versions of these conversations can take on a heartfelt form of mutual learning…keeping in mind that there is a base of trust and mutual reciprocity. I think that when you have people like that in your life they will not only hold you accountable, but also be open to the changes that occur inside them and in you. Because after all, we are all a work in progress…

At any rate, the conversation the other day was a nice melt of film and culture critiques mixed with a bit of real life with snippets of heart felt searching/sharing. To sum up, we talked about a recent South African lesbian film that we had seen as well as a shorter German film that preceded it. (

Now if you don’t know, June is Gay Pride Month and in CT there is a film festival. My friend and I talked about our pride activities, and the reoccurring themes within the film and the larger LGBT community. Maybe in a later blog I will go more in depth….but for now lets stick to this classic conversation. Now because neither one of us are “small talk” kind of people, critiquing these movies only went so far and eventually the real “stuff” in our life became our subject.

My friend had just finished a human sexuality class that she was taking for fun (I wondered how she even had the time). Throughout the semester we had visited different topics within the class but during lunch we talked about the larger idea of a “sexual revolution” that needs to take place.

I will just speak from my own thoughts and say that there is way too much judgment going on about “what” people do in the bedroom, in relationships and with their life in general. I will admit that I do not understand “why” people make certain decisions but I really do work on refraining from judgment, knowing that I am also scrutinized by others as well. This realization helps me feel more open towards people and their different ideas and I am more in a place of compassion and learning.

Now judgment is one of the reason why I think there needs to be a “sexual revolution”. I think that society has been operating under this status quo of how laws of attraction and sex should be. But the LGBT community doesn’t fit into that norm for so many reasons. I mean, even the marriage conversation aside, individuals in society make a big deal out of things that really shouldn’t bother them…but for some reason, they do. And for the record, this rigidity doesn’t just affect the LGBT community but even heterosexuals who live in a different paradigm and refuse to uphold the status quo.

I’m not going to pontificate any further on what I think this revolution might entail but I want to ask some questions to provoke thought….in you (and even I me).

Questions to ponder…
In this modern era of technology, are the people you meet on the Internet “real” relationships?
Is internet foreplay/sex real? Is it OK?
How do you feel about toys, props, outfits and theatrical roles? What about role reversal?
Is it ok to entertain thoughts or even flirt with someone you attracted to if you are married/committed?
What about open relationships? Are they OK?
What if the person you are attracted to is older…younger?
What if the person you are attracted to changes his/her gender?

Ok…I think you get the point. Now if you were engaged in the conversation that I had with my friend the other day then you might get my answer to some of these questions. And if you’ve known me for a while you might realize a change in thought, which is my larger point here.

In reality, I think people are in a process. Which is why I think the status quo really needs to be busted. There are a lot of people that who don’t want to challenge society, religion, self or partner…but there are a lot of us out there who base their life on the constant flow of change. I think being open to that change in you and in others is not only healthy but fulfilling.

Ok…enough that…lets update a previous blog about my geese babies.
So yesterday morning..there was mom, and babies like always. I got home from work and the mom goose was walking all over the place squawking but the babies were nowhere to be found! I was alarmed…thinking they had been killed…or goose napped by some suburban kid! But then today I got home from work and 3 babies are back (one missing). I’m confused…because these guys don’t fly yet. So where did they go and where is #4? hmmmm

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